I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
