yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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