do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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