I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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