Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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