We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Someone signed my nipple.
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