hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
