He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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