There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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