I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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