ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
