At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
