Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
