I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
