I hate your face
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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