Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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