Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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