You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
