Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
