Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
