my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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