Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
