just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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