Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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