Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
