I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
