The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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