Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
