I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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