uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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