she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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