Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
