All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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