I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
