there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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