im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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