these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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