I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
