are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This baby is an asshole
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
