I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Panties = found
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