I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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