; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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