I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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