but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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