Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
