Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
