apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
