I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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