3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
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Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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