My nipple is on Facebook.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
is it fun? or sober?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
