he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
