Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
