we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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