I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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