I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
