Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
