If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How's work?
Spinning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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