i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
