I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
