There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
