I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
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Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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