Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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