Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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