i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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