I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
