wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
