I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
